So apart from girls which hasn’t been all that great over the last couple years my lifestyle has been varied and a mixed bag of things.
So how has my life been affected over the last couple years in regards to girls and other things.
Well your about to find out.
Just around the last blog post my dad got married to a lovely Russian lady, though it has been trying at times for him he is happy and it’s helped him a lot especially to calm his outbursts and other things.
We all went on a holiday down south to Albany which we did two weeks sightseeing, fishing and relaxing, I walked up Bluff Knoll one of Western Australia’s highest peaks, but being the couch potato I am, I found it extremely hard on my legs and the seven kilometre round trip took me six hours instead of three, I have the photos still to go through.
At the beginning of the holiday I was having a bit of anxiety and depression after I was pushed away by that first girl I mentioned that closed up on me but was fine by the end of it.
Late into the trip I got some tree sap on my leg one morning walking down by the river after waking up which caused a reaction, rash and white lumps to appear and burst.
On the way back our car broke down and we spent a week in Mount Barker while awaiting it to be fixed.
It was there, that there were a bunch of brick layers from Rockingham, a great bunch of people once I got to know them and some backpackers from Germany.
I saw the doctor in Mount Barker and was put onto antibiotics as a precaution and on the way to the clinic all the brick layers doing the local sporting complex stopped and waved as I walked past.
I got to know them as one night I was laying in my tent and heard a girl crying at around midnight as everyone left her there alone and there was a spider in her dorm. So I go get the spider out (it survived) and kept her company and we talked until everyone else came back and we both had a good whinge at them for leaving her alone there, they invited us both out for drinks a couple of days later.
The next couple days I waved at the girl each time I saw her and she did back and we chatted a little.
We all went for drinks though I don’t drink alcohol, it was a great time we had with people dancing, singing and having fun. As well I told them all about my story which I mentioned to the girl the night I got the spider out and got support and a great few hugs.
The next day we started to head back home again after the car was looked at, but the car broke down again, in the end the mechanics lent my dad a car to drive back and we got back at 10pm or so in the evening.
My dad eventually got his car back and fixed it himself after going down to get it and bringing it back on a flatbed a month later.
Just after we got back I found a local Arcade Machine online a Sega Astro City in good physical condition but not working, my dad and I went down to look at it once he had his car back and working to an extent and we then picked up the machine a few weeks later.
Initially we got to work striping it down, painting and cleaning it, I also planned all the stuff I was going to do to it mods and restorations then it kinda slowed down due to my emotional status and things but I was working at home planning and working through stuff for a while.
Since its been sitting in my dad’s spare room and with spending money on girls, my dad’s health and now sorting out some needed stuff with media and stuff it’s been on hold for over a year but I do plan to pick it up again and have mentioned it to my dad multiple times recently we should get back working on it but his house is a mess while he very slowly sorts things out and moves things around.
My main Arcade Machine work blog is linked here on this site I regularly go to.
Then my ex girlfriend came along mid that year and changed everything financially and focus wise with me.
Also at the time dad and me went halves in buying a kayak which we used as well as my girlfriend at the time but we didn’t take it out much last year due to my dad’s medical issues.
I also noticed Perth was hosting the world’s tallest pop-up water slide in the world but with my breakup and stuff since I may have missed out for good as I didn’t want to go alone as it has been here in Perth the last three summers.
After my breakup with my girlfriend and ending up in hospital for a night I was put onto the hospital mental health services who referred me to a social anxiety course which ran for eleven weeks mid last year.
Also after my ex girlfriend I started chatting to that European girl and was the last time I went to Neko Nation after getting kicked out.
I also got a New Nintendo 3DS XL to play games on at this stage.
Around this time I was seeing my doctor, psychologist and the mental health service team every month as well as going to the weekly social anxiety course.
My dad had a lot of medical conditions all through this year which prevented a lot of the work on the Arcade Cabinet, as well as saving money to meet the European girl.
The course was about coping skills for social anxiety and I already had a good understanding of these things going into the course, my anxiety issues are mainly interaction based with history on how I usually am treated and perceived by others which how to change that isn’t something addressed by the course.
I tried to keep in contact with some people from the course but one guy mentioned he wasn’t up to socialising as he had his own circle of people to do that with and one girl I mentioned in part 1.
During this time I was getting out and having some social in limited areas and talking to the girl from Europe which was good and made me feel a bit better than my current situation but there was a lot missing still.
I met a guy at a convention I became friends with I had known from a few years earlier, I still talk to him when he talks to me but not as much as back then. The thing with him is that I pretty much always went around his place and have felt slightly uncomfortable at times due to his attitudes and other things as some things most people would just not notice or think about he can tend to stew on and get agitated, as well he tried Asian online dating sites where he was scanned a few thousand dollars and was disregarding my advice which was to help him make better decisions.
I can clearly see things at times as you can see from this blog that I have good insight into things and a desire to help others reach their full potential if they accept me and what I have to offer them.
He tends to disregard advice or not see things as clearly than can get confused as most people would know about.
I understand he has some mental issues in regards to logic and how he acts and can appear with his past and other things, but the extent and what it actually is he hasn’t told me.
Also he hasn’t offered to come round or go out with me to things I and we may enjoy.
I missed the mid year convention as I wasn’t feeling up for it and haven’t been to a convention since.
Then November last year that European girl stayed here for a month.
I started looking into some home automation stuff while she was here remote power switches and various unique power boards etc.
End of the year I stayed at dad’s for Christmas and watched a guy on YouTube and his Christmas with a tear in my eye wanting a Christmas with a gathering and fun and other activities.
Around this time I had a few autism appointments with an assessment and was diagnosed with high functioning autism due to the impact all the social stuff is having on me, while I do have some autistic traits and characteristics, these are caused by my ongoing social situation struggles with what has become the norm for me and would change if my social situations with how people treat me back change for the better.
Start of this year is when I started to think about more with the friend I knew online for a couple of years but that ran into issues about 3 months or so ago and where also I tried to chat to the last girl who stopped contacting me.
Earlier this year I was getting medication and was talking about my situation to the pharmacist who suggested that the head pharmacist goes to a local church and I might be interested in going, so I chatted to him and decided to start going a few weeks later.
I met quite a few people at church and started going to a couple of connect groups. Most of these people are around my age but married and starting families and are very busy and don’t have any time to socialise with me which is a bit daunting being single and needing a social life while having ongoing issues meeting and keeping in contact with girls.
I kept going regularly until about a couple of months ago when I didn’t feel too well one day and with what happened with the girl overseas I was chatting to and with Lemans 24 hour car race at the time as well my emotional state was starting to break down which has led to extreme tiredness and some depression.
Since backing off from church, I don’t get many of them contacting me to see how I am and don’t really get anyone asking how they can help with and what I need to help with my current situation.
At this time I got myself a PlayStation 3 and started looking at a storage solution to sort out my data.
Over the last few years I ended up spending about five hundred Australian dollars on dating sites which hasn’t led me anywhere except many hundreds of messages either not read or deleted or many views to my own profile with virtually nothing back.
I have tried to initiate with people over the last few years from old friends to new people and as a result of getting not much back or people showing that they care or much interest in general that I have backed off a lot from initiating as people don’t seem to initiate to me much and I’m a bit worn out from it all as from Part 1 and other things, so I’m a little sick and tired of constantly trying to initiate when people don’t initiate back with me.
With my health my allergies continue to be a massive problem with me which isn’t fun, as well I suffer from extreme tiredness and some depression due to all the build up of stress of trying with people who ends up not working out.
I have also put on some weight over the last few years due to how things have been and the emotional impact I have had over things.
My emotional state is very annoyed and angry about people not doing much back for me and expecting me to be the one putting in the effort.
Also I’m finding a lot of times recently that people just will not contact me back unless I contact them first or chase them up. Why can’t people want to chase me up and reach out to me for a change?
I have been told many times that I am the only one that can fix my life and issue. I would tend to agree but have learnt that one person alone cannot make a social situation happen it takes two people, you cannot socialise with those that don’t seem to care of put back in the effort.
This is unfortunately where I am at and still get told that is me doing things wrong and I am expecting too much.
I cannot make friends or get a girlfriend or socialise with people unless they are willing and want to do it back with me, as well it’s going to be very frustrating if I’m the only one doing all the work which I do not want to do as that’s not fair to me or them I want others to have an opinion, wants , ideas and want to do things for me also on their own and to let me know how I can help them out to enrich their own life in their own ways.
I would like people to ask me what they need of me as well me to them, as I mentioned in Part 1, that never really worked out with one person, the way I see things is of someone asked me to be more accountable to them or be more communicative, affectionate etc, I would listen to them and try to adjust myself to be able to fulfill those needs within reason, even if it’s sending a wakeup message every morning etc if that’s what they need.
Butf or me everyone seems to throw this stuff back with saying they are how they are and aren’t going to change or try to accommodate my needs, which are pretty basic do just want people to initiate back, be affectionate and to show ongoing what I mean to them and to do that on their own with putting the effort in as I do to them.
So since I have been playing PlayStation games Uncharted, The Last of Us, Heavy Rain.
If you loved The Last of Us and its DLC Left Behind I recommend watching this music video Silversun Pickups – “Dots and Dashes (Enough Already)” which has a very Left Behind feel to it, can you picture who represents is Ellie and Riley post the answer in the comments if you know and why it has a last of us Left Behind feel to it.
Also I got myself a Synology 1817+ 8 bay Nas which I have populated with six 3TB drives and will eventually move to 8TB drives in the future.
Start of the year I got myself some camera and studio gear, lighting, green screen, audio great and was thinking of making YouTube videos but those plans have slid for now due to storage space and my life but may plan to look into it in a different way later.
I also got some cool tech gadgets this year being done home automation from Xiaomi and one of those digital writing pads.
Some stage over the few years I also got myself a Wii to play games on.
Last year I got myself a windows tablet these things are cool if you want to play visual novels on the go as most of them run great and are very intuitive to use with a touch screen with just tapping to advance the scene and tapping on choices as they appear.
The tablet died and had to be sent back for repair which was a hassle with the warranty support, missing bits on return etc.
Props if you can name this Visual Novel.
Note: I haven’t actually played a visual novel properly yet but have tested many.
I’m currently working on sorting out my home for redoing my home theatre setup with connections and media management as I want to watch anime and tv shows again and have a growing Bluray movie collection here. Unfortunately I don’t have anyone to watch stuff with.
As well I plan to upgrade my PC a little before a big main update next year sometime.
I have been listening to a lot of Japanese songs from Kawaii Radio on my home amplifier to REOL on YouTube, you should recognise some of her songs of your into that style of music, as well as Waifu Wednesdays and other things.
For years I have been wanting to make my own support site for people with anxiety,depression who are into cosplay anime, gaming, jpop and other things as I have posted on here before and looked into over the years and I am looking at various software and ways I could do it especially as I am getting faster home internet soon and can easily host a small community from home.
The thing is I would like someone to help with planning, logistics and management of such as a site so it’s not just me doing all the work, as It will be a community site not just my site so I don’t want all the responsibility and instead want it shared.
I care soo much about others I want to help, support and do what I can to make people’s lives better but at the same time want people who care and want to support me in making my life better,
So here is where I am at and where I go from here I don’t know.
I need help, support, social prospects and people to initiate and share the word about me.
As much as I have tried socially and to put myself out there to meet new people things don’t seem to work out the way I would like despite how much I care, support, put myself, effort and finances into trying to make things work out.
If anyone knows anyone, even the media who could look at my story I want to know, as I want to change my luck and aspects soo much.
So I’ll leave the blog there. I may have missed something but if I have I will do a new blog post as an update to this one.
Until next time this is drguild signing out.
Take care of yourself and be the best and genuine you can to people around you.